Salad Jokes

Following on from last two weeks’ themed jokes, at Kevin’s request, I thought that this week could follow the same idea, but making use of my sister in law, Hannah’s joke from last week which made me chuckle, so here are some salad jokes. An unusual option, I know… ..and there is a joke linking salad and Elton John here. It’s a little bit funny..

As always, the jokes might not be particularly new, and are more likely to raise a groan than a laugh…



I bought a Greek salad the other week. Well, he was down on his luck…


After waiting an hour for my starter I complained “It’s not rocket salad”.


What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.


A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his ear. The doctor looks at it and says “that’s just the tip of the iceberg”.


Stayed up last night making a rotisserie chicken and a salad to go with it. Spent the whole night tossing and turning.


One of the issues with making salad is bland lettuce. It’s a problem that needs addressing.


I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.


Some of my salad garnish was singing Jailhouse Rock the other day. Think it was Elvis Parsley.


What’s small, white and laughs a lot in salads? A tickled onion.


Walked into a business meeting the other week, put a kebab on the desk and said “we really have to think about strategy”. One of my colleagues asked “what’s with the kebab?” I said “salad and a little chilli sauce”.


And finally, that joke from my sister in law, Hannah…

I used to think Elton John’s favourite lettuce was Iceberg. Then I realised that he’s more of a rocket man.




Last week’s career jokes are here.

If you like these salad jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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