This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nose Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew.
Entered a nose wiping competition but was disqualified. Can’t believe I blew it.
I could tell a friend was built wrong when his nose runs and his feet smell.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Hold his nose.
A friend was baptised by a vicar with a false nose and moustache. It was a blessing in disguise.
Spent ages looking for facial hair, it turned out it was under my nose all the time.
Which sailors blow their noses most often? The Anchor Chiefs.
Tried to feed my pet aardvark some flying ants today. He turned his nose up.
Friend told me they were kidnapped by aliens who made them comb their hair, blow their nose and straighten their clothes. They were on the mothership.
Friend of mine has had so much surgery that he picks his nose from a catalogue.
If you think my nose jokes stink, my eye jokes are cornea.
If you like these nose jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.