This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Lead Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
A friend of mine did an awful version of an 80s Classic at karaoke. It went down like 99 lead balloons.
The lead of a pencil has been discovered that may have been one that Shakespeare actually used. Historians cannot yet confirm if it a 2B or not 2B.
I used to be in a very heavy metal band. I played a lead guitar.
Pencils with no lead are pointless.
A new bike company makes really heavy wheels, their lead spokesman told me.
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.
Went to a club wearing a set of jump leads around his neck. The bouncer said “you can come in but don’t be starting anything”.
Someone has stolen the West Yorkshire Constabulary sat nav collection. Police are searching for Leeds.
Don’t you think it’s odd that sometimes “lead” rhymes with “read”, but other times it’s pronounced “lead” to rhyme with “read”?
Those who say “all roads lead to Rome” have never been on the M25.
If you like these lead jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.