ice and snow off window

Card Jokes

My son made me a rather lovely Fathers’ Day card for last weekend, so here is a page of card jokes. Don’t expect them to be overly original or funny…




A friend’s car broke down between the harbour and Birthdays. He’s stuck between a dock and a card place.


There’s a problem on my doner card record of my blood group.  It’s a Type O…


Cold weather is here. Had to scrape ice & snow of my windscreen this morning. Used my supermarket loyalty card. Only got 10% off.


How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.


Why can’t you play cards with a pirate? Because they are standing on the deck….


I saw an insect with a pack of cards earlier. Ant & Deck.


A friend sent me a card saying “Get Bell Soon”. He meant well.


Bought something and accidentally used my doner card instead of my credit card. Cost me an arm and a leg.


Went to the bank and they told me they could offer me a credit card with no interest. I said, “Why are you bothering then?”


Got a cheap card coming up to Christmas with 24 windows, but turned out that each one was just a little hole.  Turned out I’d bought an advent colander.


I knew my bank was in trouble when I tried to use my credit card and was told “insufficient funds”, and it wasn’t on my side…




Last week’s yoga jokes are here.

If you like these, have a look over here


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