Tag: corny

Jump Jokes

A friend of mine hurt himself trying to jump over a wall whilst dressed as a clown. It was his own stupid vault.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Jump Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Really don’t like it when someone jumps in the elevator and presses all the buttons. It’s wrong on so many levels. Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team.… Continue reading Jump Jokes

Nut Jokes

A friend of mine has started the new trendy Squirrel Diet. It's just nuts.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nut Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Did a great palindrome swap. A nut for a jar of tuna. A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “in a nut shell, it’s an oak tree”. I had to… Continue reading Nut Jokes

Encyclopedia Jokes

A friend was arrested for stealing a copy of an encyclopedia. He told the police that he could explain everything.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Encyclopedia Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Where’s the best place to find out about chickens? In a hencyclopedia. I put my encyclopedia in the fridge to get some cold hard facts. I love the audio version of the… Continue reading Encyclopedia Jokes

Election Jokes

Local bees are voting. They're all heading to the pollen station.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Election Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I was going to vote for better slides in parks in the local election, but unfortunately I live in a swing constituency. Weird election result where everyone has to say “aaah” like… Continue reading Election Jokes

Eye Jokes

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Eye Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend with knitting needles told me he has a pattern for sunglasses. I think he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes. For most people, carrots are good for your… Continue reading Eye Jokes

Hippo Jokes

I like the elephant school, I enjoy the rhino college, but my favourite is the hippo campus.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hippo Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… If you say you say you’re a fan of pachyderms but only like rhinos, elephants, pigs and tapirs, then you’re being hippo critical. Hippos can run and swim faster than humans, which… Continue reading Hippo Jokes

Stain Jokes

I saw a knight wearing greasy armour that meant weapons just slipped off it. It was stain mail.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Stain Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Worst thing about salsa dancing is getting the tomato stains out afterwards. I spilt a jar of Vanish on my sat nav. Now I can’t find Staines anywhere. I went into the… Continue reading Stain Jokes

Rug Jokes

Tried to speed up my magic carpet for the big race but was told I couldn't use performance enhancing rugs.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Rug Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I got 20% off at the local carpet shop. I’m going to have to buy a big rug now to cover that bit. What did the rug say to the floor? Don’t… Continue reading Rug Jokes

Button Jokes

I used to wonder where they stored spare belly buttons, then I realised it's in the Naval Reserve.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Button Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Pressed the Hammer Function button on my new drill, and it keeps playing “You can’t touch this”. Not to say I’m out of date, but I just spent half an hour trying… Continue reading Button Jokes

Flag Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Flag Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… There are a lot of good things about Switzerland.  The flag is a big plus. What has Santa got in common with a flag?  You often find them both at the pole.… Continue reading Flag Jokes