Shakespeare Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Shakespeare Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.

A pencil has been discovered that may have been one that Shakespeare actually used. Historians cannot yet confirm if it a 2B or not 2B.

The security services actually have a Shakespeare Society. It’s called Thespionage.

King_Lear.doc – that’s a play on Word.

Shakespeare walks into a bar. The barman says “Oi! You’re bard!”

Turns out the cast of the local production of Romeo and Juliet like all fruit apart from melons. Particularly cantaloupe.

Enjoying the new Shakespeare computer game. Sonnet the Hedgehog.

Chap goes into a bookshop and asks for the book by Shakespeare. The employee says “yes, which one?” Chap replies “William”.

Turned up at the box office and asked for two tickets. “For Romeo and Juliet?” “No, for me and my wife”.

Some people think Shakespeare only used pencil, but he did talk about pens. Much of his work is described as I am Bic Pentameter.

Local camping shop had a Shakespeare based sale last Christmas. Their sign said “now is the winter of our discount tents”.

Shakespere actually had an aborted attempt to be a footballer. Didn’t work out though, he was on the left wing but no matter how many times they told him, he would always play write.

Told a friend I had a part in a production of Hamlet. He said “are you being facetious?” I said “no, Polonius”.

If you like these Shakespeare jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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