Plan Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Plan Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive.

Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

It wasn’t my plan to get a brain transplant, then I changed my mind.

Worried I couldn’t restore lost files from my laptop, but luckily I had a back up plan.

I was going to plan a surprise birthday party for my psychic friend, but that didn’t go well..

I plan to give up procrastination next year.

My plan to get fit is working out.

Took my business plan to open a colander factory to the bank manager, but he said it was full of holes.

I wondered why I hadn’t seen a plan from Apple to produce cars. Then I realised they would have windows.

I saw some cheese that refused to be sliced as it had greater plans…

I’m not sure whoever signed off the Club Tropicana business plan was the best advisor.

I used to wonder why the Star Wars films were released in the order 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9 then I realised Yoda wrote the plan.

A burgler I know planned to steal a series of kitchen utensils, then he realised the whisk wasn’t worth taking.

If you like these plan jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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