For no particular reason, the topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Octopus Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
An octopus held up the local bank. Apparently he was well armed.
How much effort does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
I asked how much the creature that looked like an ill octopus cost and what it was. The chap said “Sick squid”.
What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.
A chap goes to the cinema and is surprised to see an octopus sitting on the seat beside him. “How come you are here?” he asks. The octopus says “I enjoyed the book”.
People sometimes confuse the plural of octopus, it’s one octopus, two octopuses, 3.14 octopi.
Saw an octopus dancing at the marine disco. It pulled a mussel.
Where do octopuses sleep? On the seabed.
I saw a singing octopus once, in the choral reef.
A teacher asks the class to name six creatures that you might find in the sea. One of the pupils replies, “five octopuses and a herring”.
What sort of fish operates on poorly octopuses? A sturgeon.
Why did the octopus cross the reef? To get to the other tide.
If you like these octopus jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.