This week’s puns and one liners are on the theme of Boot Jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….
I went to the filling station this morning for petrol. The first pump didn’t work, neither did the second pump, nor the third. I went into the shop and said to the person working behind the counter, “Have you got your pumps on?” She said, “No, I’m wearing Ugg Boots.”
A friend couldn’t tie his shoelaces, so I’ve sent him to boot camp.
I’ve invented a boot made entirely out of Lego. When you stand on it, it doesn’t hurt, you just get a little taller.
A friend’s spot burst when he went to the pharmacist. Puss in Boots.
What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Went to a car boot sale. No idea why, I’ve already got a car boot.
I saw someone holding a pair of boots to his ears. Apparently he was listening to sole music.
Not sure how an over-inflated ego can make your feet sore, but when I saw the Doctor he told me I was too big for my boots.
Worst thing about millipedes playing football is how long it takes them to put their boots on.
Was going to start a car football league but it didn’t work; they all only had one boot.
If you like these boot jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.