counter fitting

Kitchen Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of kitchen jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…



What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel.


One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think it’s the Chopin board.


When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen equipment. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.


I have a device in my kitchen which makes smoothies that make me think heaven is a place on earth. Blender Carlisle.


I saw a yogurt floating across my kitchen. I think it might be paranormal activia.


Opened the kitchen cupboard and found some fake noodles. It’s an impasta.


I fell asleep beside the kitchen sink. I feel completely drained now.


I got a Lord of the Rings themed kitchen. I particularly like the hob bit.


I was going to put my slices of meat on the top shelf of the fridge but the steaks were too high.


A friend of mine used to install kitchen work surfaces but he was arrested for counter fitting.


Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive.




Last week’s Jewelry jokes are here.

If you like these kitchen jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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