This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Jewellery Jokes, although don’t expect to find too many gems in here. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Planning to start a jewellery business. If you want to help, give me a ring.
My girlfriend wasn’t happy with my Christmas present for her. She wanted something with diamonds; I got her a deck of cards.
I was driving down a road that was surfaced with emeralds, rubies and diamonds. I think it was a jewel carriageway.
I’ve lost my mood ring. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Which item of jewellery is the best to protect the rest of your collection? Locket.
Imagine how excited Gollum gets on the fifth day of Christmas.
A friend of mine told me they wanted a ring. I told them to take their phone off silent.
I saw someone running away with my gold necklaces. I shouted, “AU! Get Back here!”.
Saw a pirate standing on a desert island in a pile of gold and gems that came part way up his legs. He learned that his booty was only shin deep.
The golden rule: Those with all the gold make all the rules.
Last week’s flower jokes are here.
If you like these jewellery jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.