square roots

Flower Jokes

In this beautiful spring weather, what better a subject for one liners and puns than flower jokes, so here are a few for you. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…




A teacher asked a class “How do you spell chrysanthemum?”. The reply comes “Don’t worry, we don’t know how to spell it either”.


Was out camping when a monk tried to sell me flowers but I said no. I like to do my bit to prevent florist friars.


A friend perfected his garden flower beds through a process of trowel and error.


I crossed a bike with a flower and got some cycle petals.


I’ve got some friends arguing about whether they should pave part of their garden or plant some flowers. One said he will sort it once and floral.


A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.


I was going to organise all my dried flowers, then I realised I had more pressing problems to deal with.


Got asked to chose my favourite plant when three I really liked where in the room. That put me in an orchid situation.


I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.


Surprised to hear that there is a country where everyone drives the same colour vehicle. It’s a red car nation.


Apparently it’s good to talk to your plants. I tried to teach my flowers mathematics but they ended up with square roots.


I got The Hulk to help me plant some flowers. After all, he’s got green fingers.




Last week’s Elvis jokes are here.

If you like these flower jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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