unexpected item

Supermarket Jokes

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Supermarket Jokes. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…




Standing in the supermarket, I wasn’t sure which pasta to buy. Then the penne dropped.


My local supermarket is selling superhero toiletries for kids, like Batman shampoo. I’m just waiting for them to stock Conditioner Gordon.


They’ve just changed my responsibilities at the supermarket where I work. Instead of stacking fabric freshener, I’m working on peas and beans. It takes me out of my Comfort zone.


One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.


I’m really struggling to buy a supermarket conveyor belt divider. Every time I try, the cashier just puts it back.


Bilbo always has trouble with self service checkouts in Supermarkets. It keeps telling him that there’s an unexpected item in the Baggins area.


I’ve decided to put all my eggs in one basket so I don’t look daft walking around the supermarket.


When I was in the supermarket earlier, I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, “Are you two an item?”


Two lions walking down an aisle in a supermarket. One says to the other, “it’s quiet in here today, isn’t it?”.


Someone stacking shelves in my local supermarket dropped a packet of alphabeti spaghetti on the floor. That could have spelled disaster.




Last week’s kitchen jokes are here.

If you like these Supermarket Jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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