love meat tender

Hotel Jokes

I’ve spent the week in Spain at Formula One Winter Testing, so after a week in a hotel, a series of hotel jokes seems a good idea for this week’s one liners and puns. Don’t expect these to come with too much hilarity or originality…




A chap checks into a hotel, and is asked if he wants a room with a shower or a bath. Wanting to save money, he asks “What’s the difference?”. The staff member replies, “You need to stand up in the shower”.


I had to leave the hotel earlier when two grand masters arrived and started talking about their best tournaments. I can’t stand chess nut boasting in an open foyer.


Seven star hotels are overrated.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. “No, I’m travelling light.”


Arrived at a hotel, said I was there for the Twitter conference. Concierge said “Follow me”…


Checked in to a hotel this week and asked for an early morning wake up call.  At 7am, the receptionist called and said “What are you doing with your life?”.


Couldn’t get my phone to work in my hotel room, so went downstairs. They have reception there.


Stayed in a posh hotel with towels so thick I could barely shut my suitcase.


Turned up at the hotel lobby with a friend, the chap said “do you have reservations?”. “Yes”, I said, “I suspect the beds will be lumpy and the breakfast buffet poor”.


Stayed in an Elvis themed hotel. The restaurant is for people who Love Meat Tender.




Last week’s garden jokes are here.

If you like these hotel jokes, have a look here.

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