Heart Jokes

Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology. It's totally clips of the heart.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology. It's totally clips of the heart.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Heart Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 
 
 

A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso. He didn’t put his heart into it.

 

Spotted in a lonely hearts ad: “Scrabble player looking for love. Has GSOH”

 

To kill a French vampire, you need to stick a baguette through his heart. It’s painstaking.

 

I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.

 

A friend told me he was making a hearty beef stew. Turned out it was offal.

 

Used to wonder where we stored our national supply of tripe. Noticed that the country doesn’t have a heart bank but does have a Liverpool.

 

Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology. It’s totally clips of the heart.

 

If you steal someone’s heart, do you get cardiac arrested?

 

My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest. A bit weird I know but it just shows his heart is in the right place.

 

A pound of tripe and a heart walk into a bar. The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.

 
 
 

If you like these heart jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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