We don’t normally like getting bills, but hopefully these bill jokes will raise a smile. As always they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Bought a new sofa recently and it comes with three years free credit. Great news for my phone bill.
Managed to cut my bills in half. I haven’t saved any money, just a bit obsessed with my scissors.
A friend of mine used to live in a lake filled with ducks but he moved out when he got fed up with all the bills.
Went to a trendy restaurant and had a pelican curry. Tasted ok, but the bill was enormous.
I had a a recurring dream about being in a restaurant with two friends when the bill came to £100. We split it. It was £33.33333333333…..
How did dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus cheques…
Brace yourself… Well, it saves on dental bills…
A friend didn’t pay his bill after someone removed the ghosts from his house and ended up being repossessed.
My local 99p shop is now a £1 shop to help pay its bills. No change there then.
I always find that the darkest times are when you don’t pay your electricity bill.
If you like these bill jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.