A friend didn't pay his bill after someone removed the ghosts from his house and ended up being repossessed.

Bill Jokes

We don’t normally like getting bills, but hopefully these bill jokes will raise a smile. As always they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 
 
 

Bought a new sofa recently and it comes with three years free credit. Great news for my phone bill.

 

Managed to cut my bills in half. I haven’t saved any money, just a bit obsessed with my scissors.

 

A friend of mine used to live in a lake filled with ducks but he moved out when he got fed up with all the bills.

 

Went to a trendy restaurant and had a pelican curry. Tasted ok, but the bill was enormous.

 

I had a a recurring dream about being in a restaurant with two friends when the bill came to £100. We split it. It was £33.33333333333…..

 

How did dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus cheques…

 

Brace yourself… Well, it saves on dental bills…

 

A friend didn’t pay his bill after someone removed the ghosts from his house and ended up being repossessed.

 

My local 99p shop is now a £1 shop to help pay its bills. No change there then.

 

I always find that the darkest times are when you don’t pay your electricity bill.

 
 
 

If you like these bill jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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