Baggage Jokes

Watched a British 70s comedy film about travelling by plane. Carry On Baggage.
Watched a British 70s comedy film about travelling by plane. Carry On Baggage.

I was at an event in New York this week and my jokes were a topic of conversation, and after a drink or two, we talked about a suitable topic for this week’s collection.  After a particular story about luggage at an airport had caused much interest and debate, we decided that this week we would have baggage jokes, so for Kathryn, Natasha, Martyn, Neale, Mark, Barry, Becky, Simon, David and of course Cheesy Jokes Sam, here are some baggage jokes.  Of course, like a familiar old suitcase, some of these may be far from original, and not that funny…




Had my luggage torn to pieces, so I asked my lawyer if I could sue the airline. He said, “you don’t have much of a case”.


A buzzard turns up at the airport with two dead animals. The staff member at check in says, “Sorry, only one carrion per passenger”.


Airlines work out most about their customers’ luggage through case studies.


A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage. The check in agent says “travelling light?”. He says “Yes, I am”.


Someone told me they thought I was in denial about baggage, but that’s definitely not the case.


There was an incident at the airport when a large collection of suitcases fell over in the luggage area. Experts suspect it was pile it error.


Sadly turned away from my flight to a JRR Tolkein convention, where I was going to show my impressive hobbit collection. Airline said I had too much Bilbo Baggage.


“The camera adds ten pounds” said the check in agent as he weighed my bag.


At an airport, one of my friends suggested we disguise ourselves as luggage. I said, “let’s not get carried away”.


Took legal action once against someone who tried to copy my quantum luggage. It was an open and shut case.


Watched a British 70s comedy film about travelling by plane. Carry On Baggage.


Friend of mine works as a baggage handler at the airport, but used to be a lawyer. He kept losing his cases.


Unpacking my bag after a flight, and I have a suitcase full of gloves. Apparently I bought a hand luggage only fare.


I know an elephant who refused to travel by air because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the hold.


Every time I walk through baggage reclaim at an airport, I burst into tears. I’m case sensitive.


There was only one bag left at baggage reclaim from the flight I had been on. The chap beside me was still waiting for his bag, so I asked if it was his. Apparently this wasn’t the case.


A friend got arrested after covering some luggage in oil. They dropped the case.


Worried that the airline might lose my bag with all the sausages I’ve bought during my trip to Germany. That would be the wurst case scenario.


A friend was seeing someone who worked for a left luggage company but it didn’t work out. They had too much baggage.




Last week’s snow jokes are here.

If you like these baggage jokes, have a look over here.

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