Category: Randomness

Accent Jokes

Jousting. What a Brummie asks a bee.

These series of puns and one-liners are accent jokes, and specifically, British accent jokes, so they may not travel so well beyond that.  If you find yourself scratching your head wondering why it should be funny, then try it in the relevant accent.  If that doesn’t work, comment below and I will try to explain.… Continue reading Accent Jokes

Valentine’s Day Jokes

I was arguing with a girlfriend in a restaurant once when my best mate came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.

The more astute of you may have spotted that today is 14th February, and therefore today’s topics for one-liners and puns is Valentine’s Day jokes, although these are probably not the best way to foster romance. They do, of course, come with the usual caveats with no guarantee of being either funny or original.  … Continue reading Valentine’s Day Jokes

Fancy Dress Jokes

I was about to go to a fancy dress party as a can of deodorant. My wife stopped me and said "Are you Sure?"

The theme for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is Fancy Dress Jokes, which come with the normal caveats that these may be neither funny nor original. I hope that you enjoy them anyway….       Just been let down by the people who work at the fancy dress shop after I tried… Continue reading Fancy Dress Jokes

Shopping Jokes

I walked into the fish shop and asked the man for a large fish.'Won't be long' said the fish shop man.'Well it better be wide then' I said.

The topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is Shopping Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality, but I do hope that you enjoy them anyway….       Friend of mine got drunk and went to an auction. He doesn’t remember a lot.   Ever since buying… Continue reading Shopping Jokes

Dog Jokes

I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Dog Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. The vet has described its condition as comfortable.   Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team. It wasn’t easy,… Continue reading Dog Jokes

Money Jokes

Pigeons must be wealthy. They have no problem putting deposits on expensive cars.

The theme of this week’s one-liners and puns is money jokes, which come with the normal caveats of not to expect them to be either too funny or too original.  I hope you enjoy them anyway….       When is it most likely to rain money? When there is change in the weather…  … Continue reading Money Jokes

Time Jokes

I asked if I could leave work early the other day, and the boss said yes, if I made up the time. I said "sure, it's twenty past fourteen".

After last week’s sign jokes, a similar one word theme for this week; time jokes.  Below are a series of one-liners that have a comment about time in some way (a few a bit tenuous), and all come with the usual caveats of a lack of originality and not being that funny.  I do hope… Continue reading Time Jokes

241543903, The number for a head in the freezer

I was talking to a colleague today who mentioned that he had recently bought a freezer, so I asked him if he had google 241543903. This confused him, until he did Google that number, which answered his question as to why I had enquired, but in its own way, created more questions than it answered.… Continue reading 241543903, The number for a head in the freezer

Sign Jokes

I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat.

Welcome to the first series of jokes for 2014.  After a few weeks of jokes about Christmas, and related topics like Christmas Crackers and jumpers, a new subject this week.   Here are some sign jokes, although do not expect the New Year to have brought a new quality of jokes, or any originality or… Continue reading Sign Jokes

More Christmas Cracker Jokes

How do we know that Santa is a racing driver? Because he is always in pole position.

I posted one or two – or many more – jokes last week that had a Christmas theme, but now that we have had Christmas and a few more have appeared, here are a few more Christmas Cracker jokes for you, which as always, may not be particularly original, or even that funny for that… Continue reading More Christmas Cracker Jokes