Accent Jokes

These series of puns and one-liners are accent jokes, and specifically, British accent jokes, so they may not travel so well beyond that.  If you find yourself scratching your head wondering why it should be funny, then try it in the relevant accent.  If that doesn’t work, comment below and I will try to explain.  Of course, it might just be the normal caveat that the jokes aren’t that funny, or original….




Women can do a much better Black Country accent than men. That’s because the female of the species is more Dudley than the male.


Yorkshire chap asks a goldsmith to make a statue of his dog. Goldsmith asks “Eighteen carrat?”. He replies, “Nay, chewing a bone”.


A Geordie chap walked into a hairdressers and asked “Can I have a perm please?” Hairdresser replied, “I wandered lonely as a cloud….”


I was walking through Botanic Gardens in Belfast the other week when I saw two ducks. One said “quack”. The other said “slow down, I’m going as quack as I can”….


A man walks into a bakers in Glasgow and says “is that a cake or a meringue?”. The chap says “no, you’re right. It’s a cake”.


Jousting. What a Brummie asks a bee.


A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet to be neutered. ‘Is it a tom?’ asks the vet. He replies, ‘No. It’s in the box”.


A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?”


A man goes to a barber in Glasgow, and wriggles about in the chair for a second before he settles. The barber says “comfy?”. He says “Clydebank”.




Last week’s Valentine’s Jokes are here.

If you like these accent jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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