Category: 2019

Armour Jokes

"You've got mail", said the blacksmith as he delivered the knight's new armour.

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of armour jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Friend of mine is in an 80s tribute band who wear yellow metal plates. Banana Armour.   What do you call a bird in a suit of armour? A… Continue reading Armour Jokes

Wine Jokes

My friend gets annoyed when I mess with his red wine. I added some fruit juice and now he's sangria than ever.

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of wine jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….       A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew.   A friend said a wine he tried recently was bitter and not properly fermented. Sounds… Continue reading Wine Jokes

Headphone Jokes

A friend just gave me some new headphones. That's music to my ears.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of headphone jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Was going to plug my keyboard into the headphone socket of my laptop but was worried I might end up stereotyping.   A friend just gave me… Continue reading Headphone Jokes

Sale Jokes

For sale: Midwife manuals. (Can deliver)

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sale Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Pleased at our choice of celebrity to open our jumble sale. Axl Rose made everyone feel welcome.   Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an… Continue reading Sale Jokes

Roman Numeral Jokes

X Factor: The original Roman sun cream.

I was sent some jokes involving Roman Numerals this week, so here are some Roman Numeral jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A roman centurion walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “five beers please”. There are II types of people in the world. Those who… Continue reading Roman Numeral Jokes

Crossword Jokes

The first rule of Crossword Club is (3,4,4,5,9,4).

This week’s collection of puns and one liners take the form of crossword jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… If you see someone doing a crossword today, just lean over & say “7 up is Lemonade” I like all sorts of puzzles, like jigsaws and crosswords, but dot to… Continue reading Crossword Jokes

Element Jokes

The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of element jokes about the various members of the periodic table. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.   Gold walked into a bar.… Continue reading Element Jokes

Utensil Jokes

A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It's shaped like a corkscrew.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of utensil jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Found a fork in the road the other day. It was outside my local chip shop. I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining. Woke… Continue reading Utensil Jokes

Zebra Jokes

The zookeeper told me I wasn't allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.

Right to the end of the alphabet for this week’s page of puns and one liners, which are on the theme of zebra jokes, with no mention of anything being black and white and red all over… And of course, they come with the normal warning of no guarantee of hilarity or originality.    … Continue reading Zebra Jokes

Shaving Jokes

A friend told me that they used milk instead of shaving foam. "Pasteurised?" "No, just around my chin".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of shaving jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.   What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a moostache.   I tried to shave with a bic… Continue reading Shaving Jokes