Category: 2019

Strawberry Jokes

A strawberry growing friend’s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. They make smoothies.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of strawberry jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A lorry load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.   What do you call strawberry jam that plays the trumpet? Tooty fruity.… Continue reading Strawberry Jokes

Bus Jokes

I couldn't get my fridge to work this morning, so I took the bus instead.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of bus jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.       What sort of public transport do superheroes use? Bus Lightyear.   Do they have a conductor on electric buses?   I hopped on a bus earlier today. After a… Continue reading Bus Jokes

Sleep Jokes

I know someone who was habitually late, until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden. Sounds odd, I know, but now he wakes up on Thyme.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of sleep jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I went to buy a new mattress the other day. I wasn’t sure about it, so the salesman told me to go away and sleep on it.… Continue reading Sleep Jokes

Wifi Jokes

Tried to use the WiFi in my local cafe and just got lots on photos of beef stew on my laptop. Turned out to be a wireless hotpot.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of Wifi jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend has an illness that’s given him a fever and a rash. At least his wifi is better with all the hot spots.   Tried to… Continue reading Wifi Jokes

Pillow Jokes

Woke up this morning with a stir fry on my pillow. Think I was sleepwoking again.

This week’s collection of puns and one liners take the form of pillow jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I was at a raucous curry night when some people started throwing rice and a pilau fight ensued.   Dreamt that I was eating a giant marshmallow… Continue reading Pillow Jokes

Whale Jokes

I went to a sea mammal themed fancy dress party as a whale and got chatting to someone dressed as a dolphin. We just clicked.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of whale jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4 then over the Severn Bridge.   How would you work out how heavy a whale… Continue reading Whale Jokes

Bill Jokes

A friend didn't pay his bill after someone removed the ghosts from his house and ended up being repossessed.

We don’t normally like getting bills, but hopefully these bill jokes will raise a smile. As always they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a new sofa recently and it comes with three years free credit. Great news for my phone bill.   Managed to cut my bills in… Continue reading Bill Jokes

Bat Jokes

I saw Batman shampoo in the local supermarket. Can't understand why they aren't selling conditioner Gordon.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of bat jokes. AS normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       How does Dracula find his way around Transylvania? He uses Bat Nav.   A baby mouse went home on Halloween after seeing a bat and told his… Continue reading Bat Jokes

Manual Jokes

For sale: Midwife manuals. (Can deliver)

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of manual jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….       Finally found the instruction manual that tells me why my alarm clock rings. It’s about time.   I’m looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but… Continue reading Manual Jokes

Square Jokes

The reason square photographs look so good is they know all the right angles.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of square jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I left a plant in my school’s maths class room, but it grew square roots.   The great thing about my obsession with toast is that I still get… Continue reading Square Jokes