Manual Jokes

For sale: Midwife manuals. (Can deliver)
For sale: Midwife manuals. (Can deliver)

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of manual jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….


Finally found the instruction manual that tells me why my alarm clock rings. It’s about time.


I’m looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but the library only has manuals.


Just opened the manual for my new ladder. It says “step one, then step two, then step three”…


An accountant friend of mine has borrowed six manuals now and not given any of them back. I think he’s a professional bookkeeper.


Delighted that the postman finally delivered the manual I ordered, “How to make your own watch”. It’s about time.


For sale: Midwife manuals. (Can deliver)


I saw a manual called “Ten Steps To Improve Your Long Jump”. I thought, “that’s cheating”.


A man walks into a library. The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading manuals are out”.


I went to the local book shop and asked where the self help section was. The shop assistant told me that if she told me where it was, that would defeat the purpose.


“Where’s the autopilot?” “He’s off on manual leave.”


Got a new job writing instruction booklets. It’s mainly manual labour.


If you like these manual jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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