Tag: witty

Nose Jokes

my eye jokes are cornea

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nose Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew. Entered a nose wiping competition but was disqualified. Can’t believe I blew it. I could tell… Continue reading Nose Jokes

Pyramid Jokes

A friend finds those who build pyramids irresistible. Probably all the phaorah-mones.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pyramid Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A newly found pyramid in Egypt actually had a garage. There’s a sign on it saying Toot and Come In.   Terrible to see erosion to take… Continue reading Pyramid Jokes

Ladder Jokes

Never trust ladders. They're always up to something.

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the form of ladder jokes. Don’t expect them to raise you up to another level, or to give you too much of a lift… As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Heard a myth about a single bed placed… Continue reading Ladder Jokes

Fridge Jokes

Bought a friend a fridge for his birthday. You should have seen his face light up when he opened it.

This week’s page of puns and one liners takes the form of Fridge Jokes, so here are some that might leave you feeling a bit cold. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a friend a fridge for his birthday. You should have seen his face light… Continue reading Fridge Jokes

Kitchen Jokes

A friend of mine used to install kitchen work surfaces but he was arrested for counter fitting.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of kitchen jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel.   One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think it’s the Chopin board.   When… Continue reading Kitchen Jokes

Grass Jokes

"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden" said the man looking forlorn.

With Spring well under way, the grass cutting has started again, and that’s given me a topic for this week’s puns and one liners.  Here are some grass jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the… Continue reading Grass Jokes

Circus Jokes

My friend worked in a circus who did a human cannonball act. Never replaced him when he retired, couldn’t find anyone else of the same calibre.

I had my first visit to a circus this week in many years, so here are some circus jokes to mark the occasion. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Did you hear about the clown who ran away with the circus? They made him bring it back.  … Continue reading Circus Jokes

Plate Jokes

I was in a cafe the other day and when I turned on my laptop I kept getting pictures of stews and casseroles. Turned out I was in a wireless hotpot.

This week’s puns and one liners come with the topic of plate jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…   Friend of mine is in an 80s tribute band who wear yellow metal plates. Banana Armour.   Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.  … Continue reading Plate Jokes

Delivery Jokes

Saw an advert for an Adam and the Ants music book, and they throw in a free stand and deliver.

It’s often said that jokes are all about delivery, so here are some delivery jokes. As normal, don’t expect hilarity or originality…       Had a night out with a group of Wagon Wheel delivery drivers. They really take the biscuit.   A friend wants to give up being a postman to become a… Continue reading Delivery Jokes

Parrot Jokes

If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I'd teach it to say is "Help! They've turned me into a parrot!"

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the theme of parrot jokes, for no particular reason.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of originality or hilarity…       What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.   What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.   What… Continue reading Parrot Jokes