Winter Jokes

It’s getting a bit cold, wet and wintry outside at the moment – at least, it is here in the UK – so it seems time for some winter jokes.  Don’t expect there to be too much hilarity or originality though….




How do you make a bed in winter? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.


Why do mountains not get cold in the winter? They wear snowcaps.


Cold weather is here. Had to scrape ice of my windscreen this morning. Used my supermarket loyalty card. Only got 10% off.


Why do bees stay in their hives in winter? ‘Swarm.


Was going to go ice skating without the skates but I got cold feet.


There are hailstones the size of golf balls hitting the windows here. We’ve got a hole in one.


What’s cold, white and smells minty? A polo bear.


What do darts teams play in winter? Ice oche.


Snow White. Can’t say fairer than that.


I’m such a rebel, I eat spring rolls in winter.


What did the sales snowman say to the customer? Have an ice day!




Last week’s lorry jokes are here.

If you like these winter jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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