said with no sense of irony

Shirt Jokes

This week’s page of one liners takes the theme of shirt jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.




“I’m not very good at pressing my shirts”, I said with no sense of irony.


On eBay; “For sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. Usual wear & tear”.


A friend of mine loses his cool every time he tries to arrange his shirts in the wardrobe. I think he needs some help with hangar management.


Someone has been stealing shirts locally in order of size. Apparently he’s still at large.


A psychic goes into a shop and asks to see some shirts. The shop keeper says “how about this one?” “It won’t fit”. “How do you know, you haven’t tried it on?” “That’s small, I’m a medium”.


Got thrown out of Coffee Club. I turned up wearing a tea shirt.


I used to have lots of shirts that required ironing, then they de-creased.


Tried to buy a camouflage shirt the other week, but I couldn’t find any.


A teacher asks the class, “Can you use a sentence with the word ‘fascinate’..?” One of the pupils replies, “I have a shirt with ten buttons but I can only fascinate”.




Last week’s password jokes are here.

If you liked these shirt jokes, there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.

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