Tie Jokes

A man wearing a tie fastener walks into a bar. The barman says "we don't like your tie pin here".
A man wearing a tie fastener walks into a bar. The barman says "we don't like your tie pin here".

After last week’s shirt jokes, it was suggested that this week’s one liners should take the form of tie jokes, so here are a few.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 

 

 

A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?”

 

In Star Wars, who was the winner in the Imperial spaceship race? It was a TIE.

 

Watched two silk worms having a race. Ended in a tie.

 

Friend of mine took up mountaineering whilst wearing a suit and reenacting scenes from Rocky. He’s got the Tie of the Eiger.

 

A salesman casually walks into the office when his boss says “why aren’t you wearing a tie?”

 

A man wearing a tie fastener walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t like your tie pin here”.

 

Went to a club wearing a set of jump leads as a tie. The bouncer said “you can come in but don’t be starting anything”.

 

A dictator complained fiercely about the neckwear he received. What a tie rant.

 

 

 

Last week’s shirt jokes are here.

If you like these tie jokes, then there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.

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