pole position

Seal Jokes

Someone told me a joke this week about a seal, so it seemed as good a topic as any, so here are some seal jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality. The joke that I was actually told was too visual to explain here, so here are a few more instead…




I opened a new box of animal crackers the other day. It said on the cover “don’t eat if seal is broken”. I checked the shapes, and it was.


Somebody gave me a leaflet that said “jumble sale”. So far I’ve got seal and ales.


A chap goes to the cinema, looks over and sees a seal sitting watching the film. He says incredulously, “are you a seal?” The seal says yes, so he says, “what are you doing here?” The seal replies, “I liked the book”.


What sort of cinemas do seals go to? Dive ins.


What sort of musical acts do seals listen to? Orca-stras.


Why do seals live in salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze.


What’s grey and has a trunk? A seal on holiday.


What sort of music do seals like? Sole.


Why are seals good at motor racing? Because they are often in pole position.


Why did the seal cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.




Last week’s fence jokes are here.

If you like these seal jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *