World Champion Ayr Town Centre

Fast Jokes

This weekend sees the Goodwood Festival of Speed, followed by the British Grand Prix next weekend, so here is a series of speedy one liners on the topic of fast jokes.  As normal don’t expect these to be in pole position in the originality or hilarity stakes…




I saw a chap chatting up a cheetah, I thought “he’s trying to pull a fast one”.


Which part of Scotland was also Formula One World Champion? Ayr Town Centre.


My local dress alteration company is really fast.  Tailor swift.


In an attempt to speed up my racing snail, I took the shell off to improve aerodynamics. Didn’t work. If anything it makes him more sluggish.


Quit my job as an escapologist.  Couldn’t get out of it quick enough.


Skiing is going downhill fast.


Quick pole: North or south?


Why don’t racing drivers like stopping during a race? Because it’s the pits.


Best meal for those who don’t like fast food?  Snails.


What do you call a quick moving newsreader? Justin.


Breaking news: stops fast car quickly.


I used to work at a revolving door company.Then I thought, “this job is going nowhere fast”.


Two ducks in a park in Belfast. One says “quack!”. The other says, “I’m going as quack as I can”.




Last week’s window jokes are here.

If you like these fast jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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