There is no cure

Cure Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Cure Jokes, although they may well not cure anyone’s lack of laughter… as normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.

 
 
 

I asked the doctor if he could cure my measles. He said he doesn’t make rash promises.

 

A friend wants to cure his fear of trolls, but not quite yet. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

 

What do cold turkey addicts do to cure themselves?

 

Local chap had an addiction to eating raw meat, but now he’s cured.

 

I went to see Placebo once. I actually thought that they were The Cure.

 

A few goths I know where in a band called The Prevention. Much better than The Cure.

 

I’m hoping for a cure to hiccoughs but I’m not holding my breath.

 

A friend of mine had Ham Flu. He had Swine Flu, then he was cured…

 

I decided to lock myself in a room to cure my acne. I haven’t broken out yet.

 

Does anyone know how to cure earwax? If so, give me a shout.

 

Not sure about acupuncture. Tried it once, didn’t help cure my pins and needles.

 

I’ve got an odd illness where I deny the existence of some 80s bands. There’s no Cure.

 

“Doctor, Doctor, please help! I’m getting married soon and I can’t get over my fear of wedding vows… do you know of a cure?”
“I can’t say I do”
“Not you as well!”

 
 
 

If you like these cure jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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