This week’s puns and one liners are on the theme of carpet jokes, so they should cover quite a lot… As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
A friend of mine is a carpet fitter. Walter Wall.
Got home and someone has stolen all the bits of carpets and the mats. Police think it was the work of rug addicts.
What did the carpet say to the floor? I’ve got you covered.
I got 20% off at the local carpet shop. I’m going to have to buy a big rug now to cover that bit.
After years of wondering what happens behind closed doors, I finally know the answer. The post just lands on the carpet.
A bit odd, but my local dance studio has both of their halls carpeted. Waltz to waltz.
Got a new mouse mat today. Hope he uses it and stops leaving little footprints all over the carpet.
My favourite darts player is called Dusty Carpet. Never been beaten.
What’s brown, yellow and hairy? Your buttered toast after you drop it on the carpet.
I got a new carpet today. He’s called Henry, he’s a spider, and he lives in the glove compartment.
Last week’s grass jokes are here.
If you like these carpet jokes, there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.
And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.