This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the form of alarm jokes, which of course come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock. Got really irritated, everyone was winding me up.
They had to evacuate a local festival when a band did a cover of Boogie Wonderland. It set off the Earth, Wind & Fire alarm.
“It’s time to get up, my precious.” My new Tolkein alarm clock.
I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made. I wonder what he’s getting up to now?
I’ve got a new radio alarm clock that plays Parklife by Blur. It wakes me up every morning except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen.
I saw a warning sign saying that the fire exit was alarmed, so I gave it a hug and told it everything was ok.
I think the alarm kept going off on my watch because it was so wound up.
Finally found the instruction manual that tells me why my alarm clock rings. It’s about time.
I fitted an alarm clock to my shoe. It stops my foot from falling asleep.
I’ve found the perfect gift for the friend who has everything. A burglar alarm.
If you like these alarm jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.