Tag: one liners

Songwriter Jokes

Invested my royalties from writing songs for The Cult in an overseas animal hospital It is a Seychelles Sanctuary

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Songwriter Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I’ve entered a competition to write a song for Abba. There’s no second prize, the winner takes it all. There’s a photo of me writing a song for REM.… Continue reading Songwriter Jokes

Hail Jokes

Now I am a bit rusty

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hail Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What’s worse for traffic than when it’s foggy? When it’s hailing taxis. The most common weather report in the Roman empire? Hail, Caesar. There are hailstones the size of… Continue reading Hail Jokes

Nose Jokes

my eye jokes are cornea

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nose Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew. Entered a nose wiping competition but was disqualified. Can’t believe I blew it. I could tell… Continue reading Nose Jokes

Sloth Jokes

Id tell you a joke about a sloth crossing the road but it would take too long

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sloth Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I watched a gif of a sloth for three minutes yesterday before I realised it was an image. A scientist has managed to cross a sloth and a human.… Continue reading Sloth Jokes

Shakespeare Jokes

Sonnet the Hedgehog Computer Game

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Shakespeare Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses. A pencil has been discovered… Continue reading Shakespeare Jokes

Basket Jokes

Had a basket of strawberries that I wanted to make funny so I decided to pun it

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Basket Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I’ve decided to put all my eggs in one basket so I don’t look daft walking around the supermarket. Tried to put my trampoline in the laundry basket. Time… Continue reading Basket Jokes

Casino Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Casino Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A pickle walks into a casino, sits down at a card table and says “Dill me in”. Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I… Continue reading Casino Jokes

Trophy Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Trophy Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society raffle. They gave me a posh trophy. Won all the trophies at the Janitor Association Awards. It was a clean… Continue reading Trophy Jokes

Journalism Jokes

They found out it was proper gander

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Journalism Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Saw a journalist searching through my ice cream cones. He was looking for the scoop. A friend lost his job as a journalist at a classic rock magazine through… Continue reading Journalism Jokes

Tribute Band Jokes

then they lost their edge

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tribute Band Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Friend of mine is in an 80s tribute band who wear yellow metal plates. Banana Armour. Tried to book tickets for an Elvis tribute night over the phone. Had to press… Continue reading Tribute Band Jokes