Tag: humour

Herb Jokes

Went to a restaurant the other night, asked for something herby. They gave me an old Volkswagen Beetle with no driver.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Herb Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Great to hear The Doctor’s new herb range has won awards. He is a Thyme Lord.   Thought I’d purchase a tall herb plant but actually turned out to… Continue reading Herb Jokes

Blanket Jokes

Friend is in a group called Blankets and Duvets. They're a cover band.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Blanket Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Thought it was going to be frosty so plugged my electric blanket in beside my toaster. I kept popping out of bed all night.   How do you make… Continue reading Blanket Jokes

Door Jokes

I used to work at a revolving door company. Then I thought, "this job is going nowhere fast".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Door Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel. I know it’s a funny place to have a door.   How do you know… Continue reading Door Jokes

Reflective Jokes

I'm not one to judge, but if you don't clean your mirrors, they reflect badly on you.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Reflective Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a reflective jacket. It sits in the corner and reads Descartes.   I held up my clock to a mirror. It was time for reflection.   On reflection,… Continue reading Reflective Jokes

Darts Jokes

They used to call me Mister Dartboard in my local pub. Because I usually did.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Darts Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What do darts teams play in winter? Ice oche.   My favourite darts player is called Dusty Carpet. Never been beaten.   They used to call me Mister Dartboard… Continue reading Darts Jokes

Line Jokes

I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Line Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest. It was level pegging.   Took a risk washing my clothes when there… Continue reading Line Jokes

Fishing Jokes

For Sale: Replica Fisherman's Knife (Made To Scale).

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       It’s the Fishing tournament today. I hear it’s all online. Anyone got a good stream?   Went to see a play about fly fishing. The cast was amazing.  … Continue reading Fishing Jokes

Garage Jokes

A friend has gone into business by setting up a garage that fixes car ignitions. It’s a start up.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Oyster Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was having a tea. Think he was on a brake.   My car sailed through its MOT inspection. The garage is… Continue reading Garage Jokes

Oyster Jokes

Surprised they wouldn't accept my Oyster card in the local Shell station...

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Oyster Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Oysters never donate to charity. They’re shellfish.   What’s made of chocolate, has a shell and lives at the bottom of the sea? An oyster egg.   A friend… Continue reading Oyster Jokes

Radio Jokes

I get my love of music from my father, who was a conductor. He always listened to the radio on his bus.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Radio Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I’ve got a new radio alarm clock that plays Parklife by Blur. It wakes me up every morning except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen.… Continue reading Radio Jokes