Tag: humour

Pyramid Jokes

A friend finds those who build pyramids irresistible. Probably all the phaorah-mones.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pyramid Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A newly found pyramid in Egypt actually had a garage. There’s a sign on it saying Toot and Come In.   Terrible to see erosion to take… Continue reading Pyramid Jokes

Cone Jokes

Heard about someone who charges exorbitant amounts for ice cream. He's a cone shark.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Cone Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Asked the man in the ice cream van for a cone. He asked “hundreds and thousand?” I said “no, just one”.   Saw someone riding through the… Continue reading Cone Jokes

Sponge Jokes

My next door neighbours have a front door made of sponge. Lots of locals don't like it, but have to admit, I can't knock it.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Sponge Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What’s yellow and spongy? A sponge.   How much deeper would the oceans be if it wasn’t for all the sponges?   What’s 300m tall and made… Continue reading Sponge Jokes

Cable Jokes

I watched some cable last night. Wasn't that interesting, it didn't really do anything.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Custard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I was going to get an electric car but I can’t find a cable long enough to keep it plugged in.   Police arrested a man who… Continue reading Cable Jokes

Custard Jokes

What's 300m tall and made of jelly and custard? The Trifle Tower.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Custard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.   What’s… Continue reading Custard Jokes

Pint Jokes

My friend used to always say "Pints! Litres! Gallons!". That spoke volumes.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pint Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Saw a woman in a pub playing snooker & balancing a pint on her head. Beatrix Potter.   A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman… Continue reading Pint Jokes

Bee Jokes

Friend of mine keeps taking all of one letter out of the bag when playing Scrabble, and doesn't play them. He's a beekeeper.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Bee Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Friend of mine keeps taking all of one letter out of the bag when playing Scrabble, and doesn’t play them. He’s a beekeeper.   I saw a… Continue reading Bee Jokes

Fork Jokes

The fork and the spoon used to be good friends, then the fork realised the spoon kept stirring things.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Fork Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Luke Skywalker & Obi Wan Kenobi were in a restaurant eating with chopsticks. Spotting that his friend was struggling with the cutlery, Obi Wan said “use the forks, Luke”.… Continue reading Fork Jokes

Tyre Jokes

Went to a restaurant recently who served me a tyre souffle. They have a Michelin star.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tyre Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a tyre for my car last year for £120. Cost £180 today. That’s inflation for you.   I left by bike beside a wall the other day, and… Continue reading Tyre Jokes

Brick Jokes

A lorry load of Lego bricks has overturned on the motorway. Police say they don't know what to make of it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Brick Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof.   Had some ice cream recently that tasted of brick. Turned out it was Walls.   Went… Continue reading Brick Jokes