Custard Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Custard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…


A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


What’s yellow and dangerous? Shark Infested Custard.


Turned up at a fancy dress party as jelly, custard and cream half an hour before anyone else arrived. I was a trifle early.


Heard about someone who stole some rhubarb crumble. He ended up in custardy.


My neighbour puts manure on his rhubarb. I prefer custard.


Had a night out with a group of custard cream delivery drivers. They really take the biscuit.


What’s 300m tall and made of jelly and custard? The Trifle Tower.


Heard about two clowns going through a divorce. Ended up in a custardy battle.


I learned how to use custard at Sundae School.


Said on my tin of custard “store in a cool place” so I left it in the Doctor Who studio.


If you like these custard jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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