Tag: humour

Mechanic Jokes

Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was drinking a cup of tea. Think he was on a brake.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Mechanic Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality Do quantum car mechanics have a minimum charge? Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was drinking a cup of tea. Think he was on a brake. Why is… Continue reading Mechanic Jokes

Slide Jokes

Went to a water park, tried a couple of slides and now I'm worried I'm getting addicted. It's a slippery slope.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Slide Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality Two cats on a slope, which one slides first? The one with the lowest mew. Orange juice doesn’t slide well. It’s down to pulp friction. Spent £500 on a big… Continue reading Slide Jokes

Wizard Jokes

What do they use at Hogwarts to read PDFs? A Dobby.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Wizard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality I made a statue of a boy wizard out of clay. It’s Harry Pottery. Spell check: Quality control for wizards. Why was Gandalf unhappy at work? He couldn’t get the… Continue reading Wizard Jokes

Wallet Jokes

They say the camera adds ten pounds, so I've started taking photos of my wallet.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Wallet Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality Why did the man put his umbrella away and open his wallet? He was hoping for some change in the weather. Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other… Continue reading Wallet Jokes

Monk Jokes

I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never got the chants.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Monk Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Was out camping when a monk tried to sell me flowers but I said no. I like to do my bit to prevent florist friars. A local Bhuddist monk went… Continue reading Monk Jokes

Dive Jokes

I used to train scuba divers, then I moved to snorkelers but I didn't enjoy it. It's a tankless task.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Dive Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What sort of cinemas do seals go to? Dive ins. I haven’t done sky diving yet, but I have zoomed into Google Maps really quickly a few times. I tried… Continue reading Dive Jokes

Burger Jokes

Local restaurant was going to try snail burgers but then realised they're not really fast food.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Burger Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw a bunch of people eating burgers whilst waiting for the launch of a new toy doll. It was a Barbie queue. A friend is making me a burger for… Continue reading Burger Jokes

Statue Jokes

I've got a statue of Darth Vader. I call it Mannequin Skywalker.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Charge Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I made a statue of a boy wizard out of clay. It’s Harry Pottery. I was going to have a statue made of myself, but I thought I might end… Continue reading Statue Jokes

Charge Jokes

I wanted to do something really scary for Halloween, so I dressed up as a phone with 1% charge.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Charge Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Heard about someone who charges exorbitant amounts for ice cream. He’s a cone shark. Police arrested a man who was carrying an electrical cable with him. He was released without… Continue reading Charge Jokes

Swimming Jokes

Hippos can run and swim faster than humans, which means cycling is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Swimming Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A fish swims into a brick wall. Dam.   The key thing that stopped me being a water polo champion was that my horse couldn’t swim.  … Continue reading Swimming Jokes