Tag: humour

Mask Jokes

Used to wonder how Darth Vader ate with that mask on then I realised he's probably force fed.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Mask Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I’ve started wearing a mask to bed so that if I get burgled and I disturb them, they’ll think I’m part of their gang. “I couldn’t identify which one it was because… Continue reading Mask Jokes

Bonfire Jokes

Wish I'd never got a tattoo of a bonfire on my wrist. Loads of places won't allow me in with fire arms.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Bonfire Jokes… As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night. He’s over the moon. A friend was having a bonfire, and I sprayed it with a fire extinguisher. He was… Continue reading Bonfire Jokes

Zombie Jokes

Saw some undead cheese. It was zom-brie.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Zombie Jokes… As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Going to the Rockies on holiday, and I’ve been told that in the event of a bear attack, play dead. To avoid any risks, I’m going to dress as a… Continue reading Zombie Jokes

Navy Jokes

Got a twelve inch sub. Just about enough space for my two navy mice.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Navy Jokes… As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… The reason why Swedish naval ships display bar codes on their hulls is so that, when they return to harbour, they can Scandinavian… “I saw a chap with a big… Continue reading Navy Jokes

Drawer Jokes

Filed my nails earlier. They're in the "N" drawer.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Drawer Jokes… As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer. Friend kept going on about what they should do with their new spare drawer.… Continue reading Drawer Jokes

Wood Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Wood Jokes, although you might argue that lots of the jokes on this site are a bit wooden,,. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       When I was at the zoo, I saw something like a… Continue reading Wood Jokes

Xylophone Jokes

What's the difference between a glockenspeil and a xylophone? I used to know but I can't marimba.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Xylophone Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Fantastic sale on slightly broken xylophones, great prices. They can’t be beat.   In a freak orchestra accident, I was hit on the head by a xylophone.… Continue reading Xylophone Jokes

Mechanic Jokes

Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was drinking a cup of tea. Think he was on a brake.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Mechanic Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality Do quantum car mechanics have a minimum charge? Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was drinking a cup of tea. Think he was on a brake. Why is… Continue reading Mechanic Jokes

Slide Jokes

Went to a water park, tried a couple of slides and now I'm worried I'm getting addicted. It's a slippery slope.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Slide Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality Two cats on a slope, which one slides first? The one with the lowest mew. Orange juice doesn’t slide well. It’s down to pulp friction. Spent £500 on a big… Continue reading Slide Jokes

Wizard Jokes

What do they use at Hogwarts to read PDFs? A Dobby.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Wizard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality I made a statue of a boy wizard out of clay. It’s Harry Pottery. Spell check: Quality control for wizards. Why was Gandalf unhappy at work? He couldn’t get the… Continue reading Wizard Jokes