Tea Jokes

I was having a cup of tea thinking about what might make a good topic for a page of one liners for this week, and drew inspiration from that particular beverage.  So, here are a series of tea jokes, although they may provide less relaxation than a cuppa, and are unlikely to hold much hilarity or originality.




I know a dentist who doesn’t like tea. Denis.


How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a break? Tea, Rex?


A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?”


I used to think the film Alien was about making a cup of tea. “I can’t open this milk!” “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”


I had a cup of coffee with a penguin yesterday. He said he would have preferred a fish.


Tea is for mugs.


Why don’t anarchists drink Earl Grey? The believe proper tea is theft.


Not sure about my trendy new local cafe. It fills me with uncertain tea.


Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was having a tea. Think he was on a brake.


Used to work in a tea shop but quit when I thought something was brewing…


Before I have a dangerous coffee, I like to have safe tea first.


Someone just ran off with my tea. Think I’ve been mugged…


One cup asks another if he wants to see which once can hold most tea. The other says, “no, that’s a mug’s game”.




Last week’s clown jokes are here.

If you like these tea jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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