Ship jokes

Which sailors blow their noses most often? The Anchor Chiefs.
Which sailors blow their noses most often? The Anchor Chiefs.

I’ve had the joys of a ferry crossing this week, which has made me think of ship jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of being either funny or original…




Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? He was afraid of cap sizing.


I saw a chap managing to juggle twenty rowing implements. It was oar inspiring.


The reason why Swedish naval ships display bar codes on their hulls is so that, when they return to harbour, they can Scandinavian…


I’m not one for buoyancy, but whatever floats your boat…


Big sale on rowing paddles at my local shop. It’s quite an oar deal.


What keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure.


My rower friend is really annoying. He’s always sticking his oar in.


A sailor eating alphabet soup found the seven Cs.


A ship load of blue crashed into a ship load of red paint. The crews were marooned.


Swapped my boat for a new ship I hadn’t seen before. I thought it was worth a punt.


Why didn’t the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.


Told a friend that I went on a sailing course in Poole. He said “In Dorset?” I said, “yes, I definitely recommend it.”


Which sailors blow their noses most often? The Anchor Chiefs.


Why are fast yachts like popular furniture stores? Both always seem to have a sail on.


“I saw a chap with a big bushy beard earlier.”
“Was it a naval beard?”
“No, it was on his chin like everyone else”.


Saw a pirate standing in a pile of gold on his ship that came part way up his legs. He learned that his booty was only shin deep.


Just bought a really expensive barge pole. Thought if push the boat out.


I can’t think of any more boat puns. Canoe?




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