roger fedora

Hat Jokes

This week’s collection of one-liners and puns is made up of hat jokes, for no particular reason. As always, these jokes come with no guarantee of being either funny or original…




“I just bought a new hat”
“No, for me.”


I saw an advert saying “Hairpieces from £5”. I thought, “That’s a small price toupee”.


I’m not saying that my friend Fred doesn’t think deeply, but usually the only thing on his mind is his hat.


Met a chap the other day, I asked him what he did. He said he was a henchman for someone aiming to take over the world, and he used a steel rimmed bladed hat as part of his profession. I said, “that’s an Odd Job”….


Who wears the biggest hat in the army? The one with the biggest head.


A friend always wears a nun’s outfit and hat when he’s out. It’s just a habit that he has.


Barbers. You have to take your hat off to them.


What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex.


Spotted a chap playing tennis in a hat the other day. Think it was Roger Fedora.


Saw Miami Sound Machine recently and one of them waved a blue & white hat and scarf. Must have been Gloria Leicesterfan.


I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.


And of course, the old, corny hat-based classic….


What did the hat say to the tie?
“You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”



Last week’s ship jokes are here.

If you like these hat jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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