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Wedding Jokes

Of course, they're not called tears at a wedding. It's eye dew.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Wedding Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I went to a wedding that was so emotional that even the cake was in tiers… Went to a low bandwidth wedding recently. Awful reception. My microwave & freezer got married in… Continue reading Wedding Jokes

Label Jokes

A friend of mine taught me to label graphs. Legend.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Label Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I opened a new box of animal crackers the other day. It said on the label “don’t eat if seal is broken”. I checked the shapes, and it was. Delighted to finish… Continue reading Label Jokes

Glove Jokes

s in a production of Cats, I wondered where to put my gloves, then I realised they fit on my…. dramatic paws.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Glove Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My oven gloves make me immune to the hot temperatures. At least to a certain degree. I’ve got an odd sock. It’s like a glove and has room for seven toes. I… Continue reading Glove Jokes

Duvet Jokes

I accused someone of being like a duvet, but it turned out they were not quilty.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Duvet Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend was in a group called Blankets and Duvets. They were a covers band. My friend told me that I’m obsessed with blankets and duvets. Apparently I’m just too wrapped up… Continue reading Duvet Jokes

Coal Jokes

Applied for a job extracting coal but they said I didn't have the right experience. Never mined.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Coal Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. It was sole destroying. Group of guys covered in coal dust walk into a bar. The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve… Continue reading Coal Jokes

Rhino Jokes

If you say you say you're a fan of pachyderms but only like rhinos, elephants, pigs and tapirs, then you're being hippo critical.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Rhino Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Someone asked me how you weigh an rhino. It’s quite like weighing a person, but on a much larger scale. How do you stop a rhino from charging? Unplug him. Not sure… Continue reading Rhino Jokes

Mortgage Jokes

Disappointed that the bank turned down a mortgage on a building for my Desserts by Drone business. They said it was just pie in the sky.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Mortgage Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Went to the bank to sort out my mortgage and got directed to someone dressed as a cowboy. Think he was the loan arranger. Found out the interest that buccaneers pay on… Continue reading Mortgage Jokes

Mud Jokes

Was out cycling and someone told me that one of my mud flaps had fallen off. I said I'd carry on rear guardless.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Mud Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Went to Glastonbury once with a dull friend. They were a real stuck in the mud. I used to be addicted to mud wrestling but I’ve been clean for years now. Went… Continue reading Mud Jokes

Wardrobe Jokes

s one door closes, another one opens. Wish I'd paid more attention to the assembly instructions for this wardrobe.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Wardrobe Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Read a book about a fictional character laundering their clothes and putting them away. The Iron, The Witch and The Wardrobe Went into my bedroom the other day and saw that the… Continue reading Wardrobe Jokes

Escape Jokes

I trained some fish to escape. A koi, B koi and C koi all got away because everyone chased the D koi.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Escape Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A group of escaped prisoners fell into some concrete as part of their getaway. Police are looking for hardened criminals. My keyboard is missing a key. There’s no escape. How did the… Continue reading Escape Jokes

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