Category: 2020

Monk Jokes

I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never got the chants.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Monk Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Was out camping when a monk tried to sell me flowers but I said no. I like to do my bit to prevent florist friars. A local Bhuddist monk went… Continue reading Monk Jokes

Dive Jokes

I used to train scuba divers, then I moved to snorkelers but I didn't enjoy it. It's a tankless task.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Dive Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What sort of cinemas do seals go to? Dive ins. I haven’t done sky diving yet, but I have zoomed into Google Maps really quickly a few times. I tried… Continue reading Dive Jokes

Burger Jokes

Local restaurant was going to try snail burgers but then realised they're not really fast food.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Burger Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw a bunch of people eating burgers whilst waiting for the launch of a new toy doll. It was a Barbie queue. A friend is making me a burger for… Continue reading Burger Jokes

Statue Jokes

I've got a statue of Darth Vader. I call it Mannequin Skywalker.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Charge Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I made a statue of a boy wizard out of clay. It’s Harry Pottery. I was going to have a statue made of myself, but I thought I might end… Continue reading Statue Jokes

Charge Jokes

I wanted to do something really scary for Halloween, so I dressed up as a phone with 1% charge.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Charge Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Heard about someone who charges exorbitant amounts for ice cream. He’s a cone shark. Police arrested a man who was carrying an electrical cable with him. He was released without… Continue reading Charge Jokes

Swimming Jokes

Hippos can run and swim faster than humans, which means cycling is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Swimming Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A fish swims into a brick wall. Dam.   The key thing that stopped me being a water polo champion was that my horse couldn’t swim.  … Continue reading Swimming Jokes

Pyramid Jokes

A friend finds those who build pyramids irresistible. Probably all the phaorah-mones.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pyramid Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A newly found pyramid in Egypt actually had a garage. There’s a sign on it saying Toot and Come In.   Terrible to see erosion to take… Continue reading Pyramid Jokes

Cone Jokes

Heard about someone who charges exorbitant amounts for ice cream. He's a cone shark.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Cone Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Asked the man in the ice cream van for a cone. He asked “hundreds and thousand?” I said “no, just one”.   Saw someone riding through the… Continue reading Cone Jokes

Highlight Jokes

Highlighter pens are the future. Mark my words.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Highlight Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I saw a chimney with a bulb on top of it earlier. It’s my highlight of the day.   I needed a highlighter, so I went to… Continue reading Highlight Jokes

Toe Jokes

Small male ants use their toes to float on water. They are buoy ants. Larger types can't float on milk because they lack toes in taller ants...

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Toe Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never dropped a turnip on their toe.   A friend told me that… Continue reading Toe Jokes