Tag: humour

Roman Numeral Jokes

X Factor: The original Roman sun cream.

I was sent some jokes involving Roman Numerals this week, so here are some Roman Numeral jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A roman centurion walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “five beers please”. There are II types of people in the world. Those who… Continue reading Roman Numeral Jokes

Element Jokes

The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of element jokes about the various members of the periodic table. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.   Gold walked into a bar.… Continue reading Element Jokes

Utensil Jokes

A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It's shaped like a corkscrew.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of utensil jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Found a fork in the road the other day. It was outside my local chip shop. I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining. Woke… Continue reading Utensil Jokes

Zebra Jokes

The zookeeper told me I wasn't allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.

Right to the end of the alphabet for this week’s page of puns and one liners, which are on the theme of zebra jokes, with no mention of anything being black and white and red all over… And of course, they come with the normal warning of no guarantee of hilarity or originality.    … Continue reading Zebra Jokes

Ear Jokes

A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the form of ear jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.… Continue reading Ear Jokes

Alarm Jokes

Earth wind and fire

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the form of alarm jokes, which of course come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock. Got really irritated, everyone was winding me up.   They had to evacuate a local festival when… Continue reading Alarm Jokes

Interview Jokes

I was asked in an interview if I could perform under pressure. I said yes, and I do a good version of Bohemian Rhapsody too.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of interview jokes, but I don’t recommend using them in an interview… as normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend had an interview for a job a local taxi company. He turned up twenty minutes late, and the… Continue reading Interview Jokes

Octopus Jokes

People sometimes confuse the plural of octopus, it's one octopus, two octopuses, 3.14 octopi.

For no particular reason, the topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Octopus Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       An octopus held up the local bank. Apparently he was well armed.   How much effort does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten… Continue reading Octopus Jokes

Ladder Jokes

Never trust ladders. They're always up to something.

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the form of ladder jokes. Don’t expect them to raise you up to another level, or to give you too much of a lift… As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Heard a myth about a single bed placed… Continue reading Ladder Jokes

Bell Jokes

I saw a toddler with a tiny Edam strapped to his bike. Must have been his baby bell.

It’s nearly Christmas, and today sees the winter solstice, so as Jethro Tull – the band, not the agriculturalist – would say, Ring Out Solstice Bells! Here are some bell jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man goes into a library and asks for… Continue reading Bell Jokes