it was just a bream

Shark Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners is inspired by a former colleague, Andy, who spends time in the office interviewing people with a plastic puppet called Bruce The Shark. So, here are some shark jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…



What do you get if you cross a snowman with a shark? Frostbite.


Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.


Where do sharks go for their summer holidays? Finland.


Last night I thought I was being chased by a shark. This morning, I realised it was just a bream.


Going to make a film about a shark visiting a Scottish sea monster. Loch Jaws.


A teacher asks the class to name six fish that you might find in the sea. One of the pupils replies, “five sharks and a herring”.


Why do sharks not like oysters?  They’re shell fish.


What sort of fish operates on poorly sharks?  A sturgeon.


I told a friend I had been attacked by a shark. He asked what I did. I said, “Nothing, the shark started it”.


I asked a friend if he remembered the theme to Jaws. He said “yes, it’s about a shark that keeps eating people”.


Had to swim away from a shark the other day in my swimming trunks. No idea how he got into them.


Why don’t sharks like eating clownfish? They taste funny.


I saw a singing shark once in the Choral Reef.


I saw a shark singing “You can’t touch this”. Think it was MC Hammerhead.


Why don’t sharks like fast food? It’s hard to catch.


Why did the shark cross the reef? To get to the other tide.


…and the old classic…

What’s yellow and dangerous? Shark Infested Custard.



Last week’s scissor jokes are here.


If you like these shark jokes, there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.


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