Scrum half far too quick to judge

Rugby Jokes

We’ve had pages on various sports and hobbies before, so here are some rugby jokes, that may be just a bit trying… As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality, but hopefully you will soon be a conversion to this type of humour…. And of course, when you’ve seen one rugby joke, you’ve seem a maul…




If you have a referee in rugby, what do you have in bowls? Soup.


The Pencil Rugby Club played the Pen Rugby Club at rugby recently. It ended up as a draw.


I’m trying to learn how to play rugby but can’t quite get there. Every time I think I’ve scored, the coach says “good try”.


A bloke I know told me he used to play rugby for Wasps. I always thought he was in the Bee team.


Enya has just bought a rugby team. Oddly enough, the next three fixtures are Sale (A) Sale (A) Sale (A).


These new rugby matches in space will never take off. There’s just no atmosphere.


A rugby player goes to the physio and says “it hurts when I touch my arm, my chest or my leg”. The physio says “you’ve broken your finger”.


What insect lives in your mats and is good at scoring tries? The Rug Bee.


I tried to play vehicle rugby but my car had only one boot.


I tried to play cycle rugby but I was two tyred.


Why did the rugby player go to see a vet? His calves were sore.


I went to the local rugby stadium and it was really cool inside. I think it was all the fans.


A friend of mine only goes to watch rugby to play pranks on people. He likes Twickenham.


A priest I know has taken up rugby. He’s scored a few tries but hasn’t made any conversions yet.


Local team of ghosts have taken up rugby. They are excellent at scoring drop ghouls.


Went to a rugby referee’s retirement recently. It was a good send off.


A friend of mine is a scrum half but be will never make it as a senior member of the legal profession. He’s far too quick to judge.



Last week’s nut jokes are here.

If you like these rugby jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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And you might just like this page all about sports themes…