Music Festival Jokes

Earth wind and fire
Earth wind and fire

It’s the weekend of Glastonbury, and a couple of weeks ago I found myself at the Download festival at Donington Park, so it seems as good a time as any to have a page of one-liners and puns on the topic of music festival jokes.  As normal, don’t expect these to be either original or funny…



I had my photo taken at a REM gig once. That’s me in the corner…


They had to evacuate a local festival when a band did a cover of Boogie Wonderland.  It set off the Earth, Wind & Fire alarm.


Went to Glastonbury once with a dull friend.  They were a real stuck in the mud.


‪For Black Sabbath fans wanting to be particularly festive; the words of War Pigs work to the tune Deck The Halls.‬

‪Generals gathered in their masses ‬
‪Fa la la la la, la la la la‬
‪Just like witches at black masses‬
‪Fa la la la la, la la la la‬

‪Give it a go…


If you’re a rock music fan trying to go vegetarian, Robert Plant makes a good alternative to Meat Loaf.


A friend is in a band called 999Mb. They haven’t had a gig yet.


I heard that, when she played Glastonbury, Dolly Parton sang Nine to Five.  That was a really long set.


Pleased at our choice of celebrity to open our jumble sale. Axl Rose made everyone feel welcome.


Have you been hit with a rhythm stick? If so, you could be entitled to compensation if you make a personal Ian Dury claim.


Sad to hear The Who’s old tour bus has finally broken down for good. It won’t get fuelled again.


Another friend was in a band called Half Man Half Bull. The played a few gigs across the Midlands. It was a minor tour.


I’m writing a song about getting my door lock replaced. There’s a key change at the end.


I know someone in a band called White Line. They’re very middle of the road.


I went to see Placebo once.  I actually thought that they were The Cure.


U2′s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them. It certainly takes the Edge off them.


When The Edge was at school, he was a border.


A rock singer stayed with me once, but had to ask him to move out. He never knew when to come in, and could never find the key.




Last week’s Scrabble jokes can be found here.

If you like these music festival jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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