no main courses just desserts

Cafe Jokes

I spent a lot of one day this week sitting in a cafe, so that seemed as good a topic as any for this week’s puns and one liners. Here are some cafe jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…




I was sitting in a cafe when someone ran off with my coffee. Think I’ve been mugged…


Was in a cafe the other day, and had a ploughman’s lunch. He wasn’t happy.


Not sure about my trendy new local cafe. It fills me with uncertain tea.


Got a slice of a nice German Christmas cake in the local cafe, but can’t find it now. It’s stollen.


Tried to use the WiFi in my local cafe and just got lots on photos of beef stew on my laptop. Turned out to be a wireless hotpot.


Jean-Paul Sartre is in a cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Sir, but we’ve got no cream. How about with no milk?”


Saw a sign in a cafe that said they serve breakfast at any time. I asked for a bacon sandwich during the Industrial Revolution.


I was in the local Karma Cafe the other night. There were no main courses on the menu. Just desserts.


Where do birds go for coffee? Nest Cafe.


Surprised to see two of the staff in my local cafe today getting carried away in their argument about how long to leave the bag in a cup of tea. The manager said it had been brewing for ages.




Last week’s leaf jokes are here.

If you like these cafe jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.