Tag: witty

Frost Jokes

Cold weather is here. Had to scrape ice of my windscreen this morning. Used my supermarket loyalty card. Only got 10% off.

Cold mornings have returned, and I had to find my deicer this week.  In fact, it took me so long to find my deicer that my car had already done the work, which gave me time to think of some frost jokes.  As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…       Cold weather… Continue reading Frost Jokes

Werewolf Jokes

How do you make a werewolf stew? Leave him waiting for the full moon.

It’s Halloween weekend and as we have previously had Ghost Jokes, Dracula Jokes, Vampire Jokes and Halloween Jokes, so this year here are some Werewolf Jokes.  As normal don’t expect these to be too hilarious or original…       How do you know if Father Christmas is really a werewolf? He has Santa claws…… Continue reading Werewolf Jokes

Fire Jokes

Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. It was a disco inferno.

It’s autumn, not long before the clocks change, and Halloween is around the corner. This week has seen us sitting at home in the evening with the fire lit, so the theme for this week’s one liners is Fire Jokes. As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…       Bought a friend a… Continue reading Fire Jokes

Glass Jokes

What do you call a woman who plays pool whilst balancing four pint glasses on her? Beatrix Potter.

The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is glass jokes, which as normal come with no guarantee of humour or originality…       Saw a chess player snacking on crisps whilst drinking from an exotic looking glass. Pawn Cocktail.   A friend’s pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With… Continue reading Glass Jokes

Tent Jokes

You can't run through a camp site, only ran. It's past tents.

As the summer comes to an end and the onset of Autumn starts, here are a few tent jokes to reminisce about the summer. As normal don’t expect hilarity or originality.       Why are circus clowns often stressed? Because their job is in tents.   Local farmer helped me in to his field… Continue reading Tent Jokes

Pool Jokes

Took a dip in the local pool. The lifeguard said "what have you got there?" I said "hummus".

The topic for this week’s one liners is pool jokes, with the various meanings of the word pool included. As normal, they come with the warning that they may be neither hilarious or original…       I read a book called The Swimming Pool. It started out rather shallow but had a very deep… Continue reading Pool Jokes

Trampoline Jokes

Met the chap who invented trampolining. Nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

This week’s topics for one liners is one that has its ups and downs, so here are some trampoline jokes.  As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       Been washing my trampoline. Seemed time to do some spring cleaning.   I have a phobia of trampolines.. I can’t help it, they… Continue reading Trampoline Jokes

Biscuit Jokes

Friend got sacked from his job at the Rich Tea factory. They said he took the biscuit.

We were playing Desert Island Biscuits this week – a bit like the better known Desert Island Discs, if you were stuck on a desert island and could take one type of biscuit with you, what would it be? – and it seemed a good topic for this week’s one liners, so here are some… Continue reading Biscuit Jokes

Rash Jokes

I shared a London taxi with a group of spotty youths. Think it was an acne carriage.

Another week when the topic for the one liners has come from my colleague Helen, so here are some rash jokes. As normal no guarantee of hilarity or originality, but luckily they are also not contagious…       I asked the doctor if he could cure my measles. He said he doesn’t make rash… Continue reading Rash Jokes

Cloud jokes

I connected my new phone to the cloud, then I had mist calls.

Looking out the window for inspiration for this week’s one liners, I’ve come up with the topic of cloud jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality with this collection of puns.       As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.   A Geordie chap walked into a hairdressers and asked… Continue reading Cloud jokes