think it was an acne carriage

Rash Jokes

Another week when the topic for the one liners has come from my colleague Helen, so here are some rash jokes. As normal no guarantee of hilarity or originality, but luckily they are also not contagious…




I asked the doctor if he could cure my measles. He said he doesn’t make rash promises.


The most rash borough of London is acne.


A friend is staying in a locked room until he gets through his rash. He hasn’t broken out yet.


A friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.


A friend’s spot burst when he went to the pharmacist. Puss in Boots.


A dermatologist friend of mine started his career from scratch.


What do you call a meerkat with measles? Pimples.


Had a go at a palindrome competition and won top spot.


A friend is allergic to escaping prison. He breaks out in a rash.


I shared a London taxi with a group of spotty youths. Think it was an acne carriage.

How do you spot a secret agent? Give him measles.


A friend with a rash is worried about being stopped by the police and getting an on the spot fine.


A friend has an illness that’s given him a fever and a rash. At least his wifi is better with all the hot spots.


A neighbour told me he had spotted a lion. I think it’s more likely to be a leopard.


What’s black and white and red all over? A panda with measles.




Last week’s ruler jokes are here.

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