I was told a joke this week by my colleague Helen – but not the same Helen who came up with Swan Jokes – and so the topic for this week’s one liners is ruler jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.
How do you get straight As? Use a ruler.
I got a three foot long ruler at a yard sale.
Why did the ruler pick up his girlfriend from work? He was centimetre.
Have you heard the joke about the thirteen inch ruler? Never mind, it’s too long.
My girlfriend got me a ruler from Smiths. Heaven knows I’m measurable now.
Why did the inches obey the yardstick? He was their ruler.
Why would you take a ruler to bed with you? To see how long you sleep.
Looking for a ruler, I asked in the local shop if they keep stationery. Chap said “I move around a bit”.
…and that joke from Helen…
I think it’s about time that ruler manufacturers just forget about the silly shatterproof claims and we can all draw a line under it.
Last week’s cloud jokes are over here.
If you like these ruler jokes, there are even more jokes via an index of topics here.
And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.